By Mogaji Wole Arisekola
Some Nigerian men need to be taught a hard lesson. It’s almost as if it’s a man’s world here in Nigeria—perhaps that’s true, or perhaps not. However, it’s undeniable that many men in this part of the world think they can impregnate their wives three or more times and then abandon their children without any sense of guilt or responsibility. They leave the burden of care entirely on the women, expecting their wives, families, and friends to pick up the pieces. It’s a truly irresponsible way of life.
Why do these men blame women for the consequences of their own actions? Why is it always the woman’s fault? A man can engage in deep, passionate love-making with a woman for months, stubbornly refusing to wear a condom, and when she eventually gets pregnant, suddenly it’s her fault. How does that even make sense?
It has become necessary to start holding these men accountable for their actions in Nigeria. This group of irresponsible men causes more distress to innocent Nigerians than even armed robbers do. Ironically, these men seem to live longer than the responsible ones, leaving their victims to carry the burden alone. It’s high time women began preparing for their future long before leaving their husbands’ homes. Yes, marriage is not a do-or-die affair, but every child has the right to proper early education and healthcare provided by their parents, not the government.
The Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development must look into this issue urgently. Laws regarding child benefits must be implemented and strictly enforced in Nigeria. The idea that family and friends should take responsibility for children they didn’t father is criminal. If we are so eager to adopt the Western way of life, then we must also adopt and enforce laws that hold men accountable for the upkeep of their children while they are still alive.
Women hold the power to make this world a better place if they step up to their responsibilities. Men, by nature, can be selfish—they want everything for themselves. Throughout history, men have structured the world according to their desires, right from the Garden of Eden. Yet, while it may be a man’s world, women rule it—they raise the men. Women are the foundation, the bedrock, and the cornerstone of society.
If women unite and refuse to tolerate this culture of irresponsibility, we could witness real change. Women should demand accountability from men. They should no longer accept excuses or allow men to sidestep their responsibilities. If a man fathers a child, he should be legally compelled to contribute to that child’s well-being—no ifs, ands, or buts. This isn’t about creating unnecessary conflict but ensuring that children, who are innocent, receive the care and support they deserve.
Furthermore, it is time to explore the introduction of a compulsory child benefits system in Nigeria, one that ensures fathers contribute a fixed percentage of their income towards the upbringing of their children. We cannot continue to allow men to escape responsibility while children suffer. Poverty, lack of education, and poor health outcomes are often direct results of absent fathers who fail to provide. This cycle must be broken.
Society has failed these children, and it’s time for corrective measures. Legislation must be introduced that includes severe penalties for men who neglect their children. This could include wage garnishment, asset seizure, or even jail time in severe cases. Additionally, communities should work together to stigmatize men who refuse to care for their offspring. We must create a culture where men take pride in being responsible fathers.
This problem is bigger than just individual households—it’s a societal issue that demands collective action. Religious leaders, community heads, and educators all have a role to play. They must speak out against this neglect and encourage positive role models who prioritize family.
It’s easy for some to claim that cultural and traditional values give men the upper hand, but those same values should emphasize the importance of family and responsibility. No tradition worth preserving should condone neglect and abandonment. Let’s redefine what it means to be a man in our society—responsibility should be at the core.
If child benefits become compulsory, it will relieve the undue pressure placed on women and restore dignity to families. Women should no longer have to beg or struggle to ensure their children are fed, clothed, and educated. The burden should be equally shared by both parents. This isn’t just about law—it’s about fairness, justice, and securing a better future for our children.
It’s time for women to use their influence to demand change. Laws alone won’t fix the issue; it requires a shift in mentality. When women refuse to tolerate neglect and hold men accountable, the entire society benefits. It’s a call for Nigerian women to stand united, resilient, and uncompromising in the fight for their children’s futures.
In conclusion, child benefits should be made compulsory in Nigeria. Fathers should be legally required to support their children, and stringent penalties should be in place for those who shirk this duty. Only then can we build a society where every child, regardless of their parents’ circumstances, has the chance to thrive.
Mogaji Wole Arisekola writes from Ibadan.
